I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
