dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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