Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
