love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
