i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
