I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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