Im at strip club and am horny
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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