standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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