Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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