I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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