pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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