i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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