Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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