Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Randomize
