Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
