Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
