Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
She's the barista slut.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
