Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
