I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
