I'm really into asian looking animals
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
