He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
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