Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
