Heybabeimwearingurpanties
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
