the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Randomize
