Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
You took a bar mat shot.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
