D3 body, D1 cock
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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