i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
