Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
