I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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