walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
