I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
