Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Randomize
