Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
