I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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