I faked an abortion last night.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
