I love black thongs
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
it's great music for shaving your balls
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize
