I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
