Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Text me some of your sweat
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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