Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Randomize
