Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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