Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
