Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
