Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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