Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
When are your genitals available?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
