Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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