I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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