Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
