My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Randomize
