How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
