Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
