Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
